Belief in Men Flying
by morning.chickenhead
Summary: Rewrite of Arctic, last scene. "We're both here...we're in that moment...and what happens next is your choice." Clark & Lex replay some of their first words to each other, and realize they've always shared an unbreakable bond. Clark POV. SLASH.


**Disclaimer: I do not own characters, borrowed/recontextualized dialogue, or settings from Smallville. Just all the other stuff in between.**

_Rewrite of Arctic, last scene. "We're both here...we're in that moment...and what happens next is your choice." Clark & Lex replay some of their first words to each other, and realize they've always shared an unbreakable bond. Clark POV. SLASH.  
_**  
Belief in Men Flying**

"I've never done anything to hurt you, Lex."

"You didn't trust me, Clark! You didn't trust me with all you had. Did you ever think about what we could have accomplished together? I could've made you into a hero!"

I bite back the acid words that threatened to spew through the surface: _You've never thought of anyone but yourself._ I could say those words right now, I could tell Lex just what I think of him, just why I could never confide him. I could tell him he's a snake, his belly coolly dragging against the muck and dirt when he slithers from one place to the next. I could tell him he's never lived to help anyone, and only to hurt everyone who gets in the way of his obsessions.

_Obsession…_I shiver. For his longest-standing obsession is…me.

I could hurt Lex right now. Not with my body, rendered limp and useless in a five-foot proximity to Lex and the dark ball of hatred gripped protectively by that black leather glove. But with my words I could.

And I would.

Except that the swelling in my heart is telling me that the emotional pain of shattered trust, unfulfilled dreams, and thoughtlessly uttered words is a hell of a lot worse than any physical pain anyone could experience. You can shut your brain off, the center of your nervous system. But you can't shut off your heart – the center of life, love, and goodness.

The only way I can get through to Lex is by tactics he would never expect…tactics he could never himself use…the tactics of life, love, and goodness.

A sudden gleam reflecting off one of the ice columns storeys above us catches my eye. It gives me an idea…and the gleam of a sudden slight grin on my face reflects the idea's wile…and perfection.

Lex is glaring at me expectantly. He says he understands it all perfectly now, yet there is some uncertainty in his eyes. If he were completely certain, he would have destroyed this place, this cold haven of knowledge and icy despair, without a second thought, without a wink of an eye, and without needing the gratification of a conversation with an old friend, obsession or no obsession.

I take a steady step forward and clear my throat. "Lex…do you believe a man can fly?"

Lex's face remains stony. "Ohio is the birthplace of flight, Clark. I don't need any diversionary tactics from you."

I shake my head slowly without taking my eyes from his. "It's not a diversion." My heart leaps as I realize it really _isn't_ a diversion. This is coming from somewhere deep inside of me, something _I_ could never have expected, or dreamed, or been prepared for. "Lex," I say slowly. "_Do you believe a man can fly?_"

He swallows hard and blinks. I can sense the cogs turning within him…and they're not in his head, but his heart. "I flew once," he murmurs, so I can barely hear him. I'm worried about the effects of that weapon he holds, yet I take two more steps forward. "Soaring through the clouds with nothing but soft, light air surrounding me…and for the first time I saw –"

We say the last three words together: "–a new beginning."

I'm close enough now that if I reach out my hand and he reaches out his, we could touch…

And now _I_ blink in surprise as Lex's unoccupied hand rises, outstretched toward me, gloved fingers uncurled; hesitant, yet wanting.

"Fly with me, Clark."

I just stare, second thoughts and self-doubts erupting within my chest and bubbling up and out all my orifices. How could I have been so stupid as to take this route? To acknowledge the bond between us that never really broke no matter how thin it wore through? To think briefly of Alexander's puppy-dog eyes and my promise to always be his friend? To remember, strangely, the feel of my mouth against Lex's as he lay beside the slough, drowning…_Don't die on me…_

When really what this outstretched hand signifies is the partnership Lex envisions. Not one of strength and love, but one of power and hatred. _All we could have accomplished together…what, you mean you controlling my body in unimaginable ways, convincing me to hurt, maim,…kill? Sending me off to war, making a weapon out of me? No, Lex, I am a person, just like you. _

_Or _are_ you a person?..._

The hope dissolves from Lex's face as he drops his hand back to his side. All those thoughts occurred in merely a second, but it was one second too long. He was right in one thing: I hadn't trusted him. And my failure to take his hand just now in solidarity and fellowship could mean only one thing to him: a reinforcement of my breach of trust, a confirmation that my tactics were merely diversionary, the necessity for him to do what he came here to do…

"No!" I shout as he turns toward the array of glimmering crystals, alive and dancing with the spirits that sense the lurking danger… "Please, Lex…"

But it's too late. Darkness rapidly fills the crystalline space and seems to snap the delicately-placed columns. And I crumple to the ground as though I had never stood on two solid legs. I lie in my solitude for a moment and wish I could die. Why do things always have to be so difficult?...

When Lex descends beside me, it is like a bat, the cape of his black clothing swooping in the darkness. I think, _hope_ maybe he'll kill me now that he has me here, vulnerable, without a chance in hell of fighting back, or even of survival. Why leave it up to some strange, unreliable weapon, when he could strip off his gloves and throttle me with his own bare hands? Why sacrifice the satisfaction of destroying your own obsession without any barriers between it and you?

_No barriers…_I'm convulsing now, but when I force my eyes open for longer than a single second, I see Lex's face and my heart bursts inside my chest. There are no barriers between us now. So I say what I think:

"You never…thought…of anyone…but…yourself," I manage in a stilted whisper.

Lex hangs his shaking head. "I know," is his simple reply. I feel wetness on my cheek and I see that he is crying…weeping, actually, while he cradles my uncontrollable body in protective arms. "What have I done, Clark? You're the only person I've ever loved…the only person who has ever loved me…"

The pound of the collapsing crystals is deafening, and their force reverberates through the ground and into our bodies. I'm incredibly hot and shivery and I know what he says is true…I _do_ love him, and I always have…and I _have_ to say it now before I die in his arms… "I love you like a brother, Lex, but it has to end this way. I'm sorry…"

"_Don't_ die on me, Clark," he breathes. "This isn't just a brotherly love. After all our sacrifices…after all the pain…we were being prepared for a greater destiny. Everything led us to this moment."

"And we're both here," I murmur, almost silently. "We're in that moment." There's a chance I won't die after all. _And now, suddenly, I don't want to die._ If Lex can truly show his love, _prove_ his love, then we can beat this thing we've made, this two-headed monster we've both nurtured and tortured since that day on the bridge… "What happens next is your choice. But no one is controlling you, Lex." Weakly, I clarify, just in case he doesn't want to, just in case it isn't right, and just in case it wasn't really meant to be this way: "No one is forcing you to do this."

But I feel his warm breath on my face as he embraces my weakening body, then a gentle hand – ungloved – brushing against my cheek. I open my eyes easily now and find that Lex is smiling sadly, those wet tear stains decorating his face. "At least let me give you a ride," he whispers knowingly.

And all the memories, good and bad, jolt through my body. From my lips through my throat, chest, hips, legs, toes, my whole self is electrified, as Lex's mouth presses hard and deliberately against mine, his tongue frantic, my head nestled lovingly in his bulky palms. I feel light, like walking on the moon; a tremendous burden has been lifted from my shoulders; and we levitate, at first just a minute distance from the ground, but with one hand gripping my head through my dishevelled hair and the other sliding to my lower back to hold me closer, the inches become feet until we float high above the sweat and blood and tears we've shed over each other for the last seven years.

Now my body is peaceful, almost as if I died, yet I've never felt more alive. I'm stretched out now, and so is Lex, as though we were standing on air, and our bodies pressed against each other with searching mouths and squeezed-closed eyes, worried this might not be real; with swelling cocks and rough interlocking fingers, hoping never to let go of our other half…we are far above the fortress now, a cloud of dust and snow and ozone surrounding us, ejecting us farther upwards until we hurtle through space, two hearts and bodies and foes as one, just as destiny always promised us – me, Clark Kent, and Lex Luthor, him, that strong and loving man, just as he always promised me he'd be, once he sacrificed the power and hate.

"Now I know," he whispers hotly in my ear, "that you were responsible for the most exhilarating two minutes of my whole life. And now the exhilaration will never end."

A river gurgles by at my feet as far above my head the aurora borealis shrieks and hurdles across the northern sky. The trees are tall here, and the ground soft and moist with moss and tiny flowers and little sticks broken from branches.

I'm not ready to go home yet, wherever home might be. It's a lot for me to take in, and any reasonable thought of the politics and social mores in rural US gives a warning that however little I was accepted there before, I may never be accepted now.

The footfalls are soft on the ground behind me, but I could hear him returning from a mile away. "Don't ever turn your back on me, Clark Kent." The voice is firm and slightly ironic, since my back is turned to him right now, but it is also pleading, and it nearly breaks my heart.

I stand still and wait for Lex to approach from behind, to leave the cover of the trees and join me at the water's edge where we can share the blanket of the mystical sky. The wait is interminable. Finally, when he places his hands timidly on my shoulders, I tremble in warm delight. His tongue and teeth are on my neck, now his hands sliding down my sides and resting, ready to move into position when I give the signal.

"I swear I hit you," he exhales.

"If you did," I reply huskily, "I'd be…dead."


End file.
